Hey There,

As humans, we seek an impulsive drive to connect with people; the level at which an individual desires this network varies. Every human is generally wired to have a desire to be involved in the process. Individuals that have a great fear for rejection usually seek inclusion in form of approval from people around them. This ranges from their co-workers to their supervisors. For these individuals, their major forms of drive are inclusion, association and approval from the general populace they find themselves around.

People sometimes think they are not good enough because no one has told them so. Sadly, seeking constant approval from your co-workers either directly or subtly would make you look incompetent and unprofessional. If you constantly try to please your co-workers and your bosses and you do not walk the talk, you need to reassess your work pattern.

To assess yourself, you could start by asking yourself the following questions:

• Are you one to change your opinion or downplay your stand on a certain issue just so you agree with your boss or co-workers?
• Do you complement your colleagues and the work they do just so you are on their good side?
• Do you always accept requests despite your current workload even though it might compromise professionalism at the workplace?
• Do you refuse to speak up if a co-worker treats you inappropriately?
• Do you take offence if someone points out a loophole in your work?

If you feel familiar with any of the afore mentioned questions, then it’s time for you to do some soul searching and find yourself. You need to shed off your approval seeking ways. Here are some steps to do so:

#1 Search Within Yourself & Find Where Your Need For Approval Comes From

In most cases, most people who seek approval from the past have unresolved issues from the past. This could range from parental approval to approval at things they wished they were successful at earlier in life. Those who were thought to give reverence to authority might find it difficult expressing their view to their co-workers and superiors. Other times, the people affected might have had a difficult time making friends when they were younger. Either way, it’s time to visit the problem and resolve it within yourself, as this might be contributing to your current behavior.

#2 Rejection Is Your Friend

Look back and remember that one time you failed or were disappointed so bad that you thought you would never make it out of that dark place. But hey! Here you are now and you made it. You need to learn how to recover from slips, this way you learn to forgive yourself more for your mistakes and turn the situation around. You need to realize that disapproval and rejection is a form of feedback. You can either choose to let the feedback hunt you, change you or make you a better person. You could also choose to reframe the feedback into a more constructive one mentally. This would make your next performance even better.

#3 Growth Is A Journey. Embrace It

Embracing the concept of growth is one of the most important steps to take in your journey of self-discovery and career. When you find a way to constantly learn in a constructive way that is beneficial to you, you feel more comfortable with yourself and your work with or without external approval. With a fluid mindset, you stand the chance to gain more and create room for improvement and success, simply by weaning yourself from the need for external validation.

#4 The Process Is More Important Than The Outcome

Individuals who are prone to seeking approval usually manipulate the process in order to appear better than others. Meanwhile in reality, it is a sham that never lasts, and sooner than later, your co-workers and superiors would notice and nip the problem in the board. This might result in you being fired. Most companies rely on their employees to be thorough with each and every single stage of the process. This way, they are rest assured that each employee is a good representative of the brand. When this is compromised, it makes them raise their brows. You could strive to be better at what you do and be more organized and honest with your work.

The truth is, at the end of the day, the only person you owe an explanation is yourself. You need o learn to validate yourself and give yourself self-approval. This way you could free yourself from your compromising your integrity status with your co-workers and as an individual. Eventually, this would set you up for long-term happiness.

Regards,

PushCV Content Team.