Hey There,
It is quite amazing how some people work hard and make sure they progress in their career path – by educating themselves and others, by satisfying clients and working on their technical and inter-personal skills – only to undermine themselves by uttering statements that could ruin their credibility. Sadly, we find that people say these phrases all the time at board meetings, teams and even with clients.
The six phrases below should be avoided at all cost.
1. “I’m Not Good With Names”
When some individuals are introduced to a group, they find themselves giving excuses ahead of time for their shortcomings. Sadly, this sounds like your accountant saying she is not good with numbers. When you are in business, you should be good with names. You should make a conscious effort to remember the individual by their name and address them by name. It makes them feel special when you address them by their name. If you say ahead of time that you are not good with names, it gives the impression that you are not interested in a long-term connection with them.
2. “I Don’t Twitter”
Individuals usually say this in order to impress their peers. They believe that it makes them seem too occupied to connect on social media. However, this may present you as anti-social and unreachable. You should be able to pass the point across without sounding cocky or without the intent to impress the individual that you are not on social media to prove a point. Avoid announcing your lack of awareness. It’s like broadcasting that your skills have expired.
- “We Agreed to Circles, But I Really Think Squares Would be Best”
Although there are exceptions, there is a time and place for discussion and debate. Once your internal team reaches a decision, you get on board or stand by your disagreement. If your team believes it has reached consensus, only to find out later that you’re speaking out against the decision to an external audience, you risk losing the confidence of your team. If you said you’re on board, you have to stick by that agreement until conditions change and you’ve had a chance to discuss it again internally with your team. Telling two groups different things (especially when on the basis of what you think they want to hear) doesn’t end well.
- “Well, It’s Complicated”
A colleague has this great picture of Einstein hanging in his office captioned with the quote, “If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.” Responding to a direct question with “It’s complicated” sends two unintentional signals—first, that you don’t know the answer well and second, that you don’t think the person asking has the capacity to understand complex material. Putting yourself down and insulting your audience (even subtly) are both undesirable outcomes. Obviously. Here’s a great TED talk from Melissa Marshall on how to communicate complex material.
- “Sugar-pie, Honey, Darlin’, and Dear”
Nothing against Tim McGraw, but (luckily) we don’t work in a country music song. Cute names are for loved ones, not co-workers, employees, clients, or partners. While generally meaning no harm, use of these names can grate on the nerves of the target—and raise the eyebrows of anyone within earshot. Sticking simply to first names is best.
- “I Don’t Care What Color You Are—Black, White, Green, Purple”
Where to start? There are a couple of issues embedded in this type of statement. First, there are no green or purple people in our world. Next, people simply don’t believe other people’s claims of colorblindness. And I cannot think of a single context in which attempting to declare your personal nondiscriminatory views convinces others that you do not discriminate. Better than saying anything like this, which actually draws attention to our differences, is to just not discriminate. No words are needed when your actions speak for you.
The flip side of each of these phrases—whether you say them out loud or not—actually builds credibility. Making a concerted effort to get to know everyone in the room helps you connect. Demonstrating an understanding of why and how others use social media and articulating why you do or don’t sounds smart—not old-fashioned. Honoring your team’s decision by sticking with it after you’ve agreed to do so means you stay true to your word. Understanding the technical content you’re presenting so well that you could explain it simply to people of varying levels of familiarity is a strength. Using your colleagues’ and clients’ preferred names instead of assigning silly or patronizing nicknames helps you stick out for the right reasons. And lastly, walking the walk is always preferred to just talking the talk when it comes to matters of diversity and inclusion.
Yours Sincerely,
PushCV Content Team
